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Thursday, June 28, 2012

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter: AKA: Civil War Vamp Dusting

Last Friday night found me sitting in a darkened theatre, with my movie viewing partner in crime, getting ready to watch Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. He was more than excited, seeing as he had read the book and was highly anticipating the movie's release. I on the other hand was a little more cautious with my excitement, as seen by our actual conversation below:

B: Were you reading a review for the movie earlier?

Me: What movie?

B: THE movie

Me: Oh, yeah...

B: Was it bad? It looked like it was bad....

Me: Yeah...

B: Who wrote it?

Me: I don't know, I think it was Television Without Pity, I don't always agree with them though...

B: I don't care I don't usually agree with critics...

Me: I still wanna go...

B: Oh You have no choice...

As far as I could tell the movie was going to be EPIC, whether it was going to be Epically Awesome, or Epically Bad was still to be determined. Either way I figured I was in for some form of entertainment.


So there we sat for a surprisingly short 105 minuets, taking in the glory that is, or at least attempts to be Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

I took some time to mull over my feelings on the movie as I was tragically wrong. The movie wasn't epically anything, it just was. I didn't hate the movie, I found it enjoyable, but I didn't love it.  I didn't walk out of the theatre with any particular strong opinions on it at all.

The Good
1) The movie was visually interesting, which is both a good and bad point as I often found myself thinking about how interesting the visuals were, and not so much the story.

2) Alan Tudyk. Ok, so it was a small uncredited role, but any time Mr. Tudyk pops up on my screen I find myself gleeful. I will admit to quietly sqweeing each time he graced the screen.

The Not So Good

1) The lack of storyline. The movie has a rich source material, in fact the material could have even been stretched out in to a few movies, instead of slapping them all together hastily to form one. The outcome being that the movie feels as though it is a series of montages, rather than one cohesive story.

2) The fact that Abe trained with Henry for as long as he did and had to be TOLD he was a vampire. Seriously? Is he really that oblivious that he never noticed? I knew it with in our second introduction to him.

The Rando

1) It was pointed out to me that Benjamin Walker resembles a young Liam Neeson. This is both an amazing, and highly distracting fact to me. Now, if Benjamin Walker can achieve the same level of BAMF as Liam Neeson, I may have to marry him. That is all.

When all is said and done, I wouldn't tell anyone NOT to see the film, but I also wouldn't tell anyone that they need to rush out and see it either. It was entertaining enough, though I really wish they had given us more story and a reason to care about the characters.

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