Revenge "Suspicion": AKA: When the Shit Begins to Hit the Fan...

I've said it a thousand times, I am not a soapy show fan, but Revenge just too good to leave. The holidays put a bit of a delay on my tv watching and I finally got around to watching my favorite guilty pleasure. By the way, I've come to the sad conclusion that all the shows I have adored in the past few months are classified as "guilty pleasures".

So Kira, or Fauxmanda, as our darling Nolan so fittingly called her, has decided that she not only doesn't want to leave, she wants to BE Amanda Clarke, and get all the handsome, bartender perks that come with the identity, namely Jack Porter. Oh Jack, I understand why you may have fallen for Fauxmanda's lies, but please snap out of it. Sorry to Margarita Levieva, but I have formed a deep seeded hatred for Fauxmanda. I know, I know the poor, troubled girl just wants to settle down and have a life, but seriously, there are far better lives to have than that of a wrongfully accused, terrorist's daughter. Sure, Jack is definitely a catch, but he's meant to be with Emily. So back off bitch. Plus she is mean to Nolan, and I am not a fan of anyone who is mean to Nolan.

Speaking of people being not so nice to Nolan, the monstrosity that is Tyler once again rears his twisted little head to cause trouble. Honestly, I can not stand Tyler, he makes me want to punch things. Which is just a testament to the awesome acting ability of Ashton Holmes. Remember when he was Mark on the Rent tour and we all wanted to cuddle him?

Tyler has apparently stolen our sweet Nolan's credit card, which he is rationing as payment for services rendered. I guess this means he fancies himself a hooker then? On the heterosexual side, he did use it to buy Ashley a killer black dress for the future investors party. I'm sorry, as much as dear little Ashton may claim in interviews that Tyler does have feelings for Ashley, I don't buy it. Boy is way to calculated for that, too Dexter-ish, if you ask me.

As things are starting to spin out of control, Emily calls upon her Asian Guru of revenge. Um, how many "mentors" does this girl have? The cops find Frank's phone outside the Grayson house, and decided to build a case against Conrad.

Lydia who is now wise to Victoria's previous feelings of hatred towards her, has Conrad relocate her from the Grayson's summer home to... somewhere else, we never actually do learn where.


Back to Tyler, who Nolan has been ordered by Emily to "take care of". Nolan calls Tyler over, and despite Tyler's coy advances, Nolan say he wants the cash back, instead. Go Nolan! Proof the boy was only using Tyler and not that he had been seduced. [Insert happy dance here]. Tyler tells Nolan to invest in Grayson Global at the party so that he can get the commission, then he'll pay him back. Nolan turns him down and leaves, but not before turning on trusty little shamu.

Side bar, seriously where can I get one of these little whale cameras? How freaking awesome is that thing? Plus it's come in handy more than a few times now. It is because of this handy little device, Nolan learns that Tyler has come into possession of Lydia's banquet speech, which reveals that the Grayson's framed David Clarke.

To put a tighter leash on the boy, Nolan goes to the inverster's party and tells The Talented Mr. Hamptons he'll invest if he gives him a little incentive. Of course, Tyler obliges, reaching a hand to caress Nolan's face and indulge him in a kiss, when a glass shatters on the floor the boys turn to find an understandably horrified Ashley, who then runs out. Tyler runs after her and attempts to explain, saying he was only doing "what was necessary" to get what he needed. He then goes on to tell her she needs to man up and "get in the game".

There is just SO MUCH WRONG here, I can't take it. I know, this is a sudsy drama, so clearly Ashley is going to buy the load of crap Tyler is spoon feeding her, but come on. First off, from the sight she walked on Tyler was clearly the aggressor. Even if you are willing to buy that she couldn't have seen or known that, then fine, how about the fact that your boyfriend was kissing some one else? For those of you saying, yes but for all she knows it was just a kiss, it's not like they are engaged. Ok, but the man admitted he is willing to do ANYTHING to get what he wants. Where's the line? There has to a line! Would he murder someone to get what he wants? There is such a thing as too driven.

Also, despite several times having provided commentary on how cut throat and mean her employers and company seem to be, sweet little  Ashley seems more than willing to throw her friend Emily, who, if I may remind you SHE introduced into this whole Hamptons circle of wickedness and deciete, under the bus in order to gain ground with. Note, how after making plans to discuss Emily with Victoria over brunch the next morning, she addressed her employer by her first name for the first time. Ashley's getting a little ballsy. Unfortunately, in this show, that can't be a good thing.

But lets end on a happy note, Charlotte and Declan. Love them. Just do. Although, side bar, Charlotte's text of "2nite's the nite!" seemed a little cliched. Regardless, they adorable together, hell even their plotting against Victoria, is somehow quite sweet. I mean come on, we all knew Declan wouldn't give her up for any amount, despite lack of funds, the Porter boys are just hopeless romantics. It's nice to see at least one romance going well in this verse...at least for now.